it's ten at night and I am tired. i'm hungry and i want a glass of wine too. it seems like work will never end. it feels like I am sailing in open water, no land in sight. luckily, i went for a run this morning. 50 minutes to myself along a small creek.

tonight is a city festival at the lake, which is the central park of this town. the fireworks just started and i can hear them loud and clear. i wish i could see them too - i love fireworks. they lift my spirits and i'm suddenly a little girl again, all in awe, lost in the beauty of the sparkling colors, the rainfall of beauty.. maybe tomorrow. tonight i will sleep tight..

the windows are huge. a giant green tree in front of it. in the distance the roaring engines from airplanes. a new morning. the nights are shorter, seem to be shorter. a different flow of time. a new rhythm. the car colors are subtle, the cars expensive. a polished old world. new to me. yesterday's grey sky is still lingering in my soul. arrival. the outdoors still welcoming. delicious grilled vegetables, bread and wine. the simple joy of life.

a subway ride ahead of me. will i remember any of the stations, will the names make me go down memory lane and if so, how will my day be shadowed by them? bakeries with delicious rolls on the way. a hot cup of coffee next to me. a summer day.

time is passing by so swiftly and before i know it i will be 6000 miles away from this wonderful place. the sky is overcast, the temperatures have dropped and it looks like rain. last night the heavy rainfall reminded me of the Monsoons in Asia. it's wonderful to watch the downpour while sitting on a porch and listening to the water. i drag time. i push time. my suitcase is not packed. stacks of clothes are pulled out of the closet. shoes are lined up.

it is quite chilly this morning. the grass is wet and the air is saturated with moisture. i don't want to leave, i don't want to move at all. i want to sit here listening to the time. that is what i want. the cat is sleeping in the chair next to me. thoughts are running through me like trains on a fast track. i realize more and more that i don't like changes too much, that i have a tremendous need for stability and security and yet my life seems to be filled with quite the opposite. i ponder these thoughts, I argue with myself, i try to understand. security and change don't pair up too well. soon i will be 6000 miles away - for a time. for the time being.

harvest time. the peaches are freshly picked, the flowers were just cut. they both radiate the beauty of summer and are a synonym for abundance. fresh produce is everywhere: sweet corn, zucchini, peaches, berries, cucumbers, salads, herbs, squash and more. all the farms have their little 'selling stations' set up along the road. card board signs with hand written prices on them invite you to stop and shop. it is a wonderful feeling to buy directly from the farmer and not to browse the supermarket aisles for vegetables and fruits. the purchase on the road side or at the farmer's market stands inspire the notion of healthy food, loaded with vitamins and nutrition.

the smell of these peaches is wonderful and they are a standing invitation to create a dessert, which in my case means baking a cake. And a peach cake is simply delicious.

summer has reached its peak with steady temperatures in the upper nineties. yet one can already spot early signs of fall. some leaves are turning yellow. the grey sky is a perfect backdrop for this subtle change in color. the days are already shorter and the grass is growing at a slower pace. it seems like nature is pausing for a while before it starts its next adventure: fall. last night a heavy rain shower nourished the thirsty plants and the humidity rose to a new high. the sky is overcast but here and there sparks of bright sunlight appear and millions of water drops sparkle on the ground.

summer is 'easy living'. the abundance of nature. the warm days, the lush gardens, the vastness of the sky. but if you look carefully, you can see the first signs of fall...

In the early hours morning I was so deeply asleep that the alarm clock was a real shock to my system and my heart made an extreme jump. i tried to find the snooze button, because all i wanted was to go back to sleep. immediately. the promise i made to myself last night was buried under the urge to continue sleeping.

the alarm clock rang again. the second time around my heart did not jump. but my body still felt heavy and comfortable. So I hit the snooze button again. there was a shimmer of guilt entering my consciousness and last night's promise whispered its reasoning with a whimsical voice. However, I dozed off, feeling the warm fur of my cat's belly in my right hand.

i woke up again before the alarm started a third time. i turned it off, knowing that i would most likely sleep in now and that at some point in the morning hours i would feel extremely guilty about the weakness of my will power. i listened to myself and i knew that what i heard was right, yet at the same time, i allowed myself to fall asleep again. this time i entered dreamland.. and maybe i could never wake up.

he came home to his apartment late in the afternoon. the place looked different in a very subtle way. it took him a few seconds until he realized that certain things were missing. pictures on the wall, framed certificates from his various schools. notes pinned to the refrigerator.

he called his friend, also a police officer, to tell him about this strange break-in and asked him to come over. the friend said he would do so. while he was waiting for him to show up, he continued to look for missing objects, when it dawned on him that they had taken everything that could identify him. whoever broke in did a marvelous job. all of his personal belongings were gone. everything that showed or gave proof of his existence as a person had been taken. no pictures of him anymore, no letters, no bills, nothing. his home had been turned into an impersonal furnished apartment

Why would anybody try to erase him ? he had not yet discovered, that his friend was involved in this.