time is passing by so swiftly and before i know it i will be 6000 miles away from this wonderful place. the sky is overcast, the temperatures have dropped and it looks like rain. last night the heavy rainfall reminded me of the Monsoons in Asia. it's wonderful to watch the downpour while sitting on a porch and listening to the water. i drag time. i push time. my suitcase is not packed. stacks of clothes are pulled out of the closet. shoes are lined up.

it is quite chilly this morning. the grass is wet and the air is saturated with moisture. i don't want to leave, i don't want to move at all. i want to sit here listening to the time. that is what i want. the cat is sleeping in the chair next to me. thoughts are running through me like trains on a fast track. i realize more and more that i don't like changes too much, that i have a tremendous need for stability and security and yet my life seems to be filled with quite the opposite. i ponder these thoughts, I argue with myself, i try to understand. security and change don't pair up too well. soon i will be 6000 miles away - for a time. for the time being.