the last day of November. A grey and rainy day, a typical November day. The house is decorated with wreaths and candles, ornaments and lights, and it looks cozy and inviting. I love this time of the year, prior to Christmas. The smell of baked cookies, candle lights and the sparkling ornaments.

the storm is amazing. the gusts of wind come in waves. they rattle the house, they shake it. during the night it was almost spooky to hear these loud roaring noises without the sound of rain being included in them. i heard the night before that there would be 60 miles per hour winds, and considering the noise level these gusts produce, I absolutely believe it. the funny thing is that it is not an ongoing constant phenomena - like a rain storm or a snow storm - it's more like lightning and thunder. you can hear the wind coming from a distance, you can almost feel the 'wave' moving toward the house and passing it. and then it is silent again, for seconds, for a minute or two, until the next attack comes. Actually, when i start thinking about it, it is quite disturbing. where is this energy coming from? what makes the air move with such velocity? right now it's silent again.

I had this really weird dream. i was sitting in an airplane, flying home to Germany and we had a stop over in Siberia. or at least i thought that the airport was in Siberia. it was dark and grey outside and the plane was on the ground for the longest time. i finally placed a call to a friend and said ' I'm home in about 8 hours so i will call you once i have arrived'. And then panic struck me. Why was I on the plane? how did i get there? when did i book the ticket, who was i planning to see? it all made no sense whatsoever.

the interior of the plane had suddenly changed and it looked more like an old fashioned tavern. I stood up and when I asked some people how long the layover might be, I learned that i was not on a plane and that i was not flying anywhere - which made me panic even more! Where was I ?

Suddenly, my girlfriend appeared. she looked tanned and tall and she had just come from a pool (!) then i found myself in water and I had to do some swimming exercises before finding myself back on the 'airplane', and not knowing where to go from here. I stared at my phone and didn't know who i should call. i felt lost, confused, sad, nervous - it was almost a nightmare .

the mailbox is full. not the virtual mailbox. the blue mailbox. the real mailbox. the mailman's mailbox. the letterbox outside the house. it is full of advertising papers declaring all these special offers such as: 'buy now, save so much', 'buy now, pay later', 'buy two for one', 'buy three, get one free'. There are tons of Thanksgiving offers for turkeys, roasting pans and premixed stuffings, to name just a few. and some news paper ads live already in the future! They skip thanksgiving and go right to X-mas. Garlands and Ornaments, artificial trees and outdoor lighting, St. Clauses and snowmen, reindeer and sugar canes. all these treasures are right at my door step. in the mailbox. waiting for me. only for me. in this long blue box.

'your hard disk is full. entourage will now quit so you can..'

what hard disk and why and why now?! i really don't have the patience to deal with old and weirdly acting computers. BUT I should, because these days a new purchase is out of the question.

alright then. i downloaded and copied or both or transferred or whatever the 'right' terminology might be. the fact is i got rid of a lot of MB and I'm still getting the same error message. so what does this tell me? could it be possible that an old machine is just an old machine is just an old machine that simply needs to be replaced? i wish prayers would work for now. I know this is wishful thinking.... wishful wishful wishful wishful...the machine has not yet deleted that word...

a week has passed and i cannot place it in time. it all seems a blur between work, cat fleas and the fight with bed bugs. pest control companies, research, work, visits, vet bills, and a wonderful dinner at a friend's place. this passed week did not present itself with a clear structure. very weird. not necessarily enjoyable. a weekend ahead of me and all i want to do is attend to my beloved activities. such as learning Spanish, going on an artist date, cooking a great meal, baking, writing to a friend, going for a long run, reading a good book.. weekends.. i vaguely remember them from an earlier time. i never thought i would ever be where i am.

my cat has fleas.

not one, not two, not many - but MILLIONS!

What a nightmare.

I schlepped her to the VET. she got a pill to kill off the monsters and 'mama cat' got a spray to kill all the fleas in the house - on rugs, beds, pillows, floors, shelves AFTER vacuum cleaning the house meticulously. But lets face it, it is IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of all the larvae, i mean HOW? they stick to everything - including shoes, clothes and hands. and how does one vacuum and wash all the linen and rugs, etc without touching other objects at the same time - for example, the door of the washing machine?

just the thought of this endless sisyphus work drives me crazy! At least my indoor/outdoor cat does not have fleas. do i need to say that i had to schlepp her to the VET too?. do I need to mention the VET bill? Anyway, I'm so relieved that only 'fat cat' got attacked by fleas. she is not so agile and cannot jump on any elevated surface, which makes me believe (wishful thinking?) that the flea pests have not spread too much. the thought of those flea larvae everywhere drives me crazy! and why in the world does an indoor cat get fleas it the first place?

well, what does not kill you makes you stronger..or so I have heard before!

I cannot believe that I slept 9 hours. I woke up only once. feeling thirsty, i reluctantly walked downstairs into the kitchen to pour myself some apple juice, mixed with water. I don't like either of the two fluids, but i downed the drink and went straight back to bed. I could have slept even longer. I probably would have if i did not have to leave the house. I remember a part of a very long dream from last night. I was living in a large loft like house. i mean large - 10-20.000 square feet. there was a constant flow of people, coming and going and one morning the kitchen counter was a complete mess, the toilets were clogged and the ugly brown contents spilled all over. it was disgusting and i screamed and yelled. i was so angry i could hardly control my voice. eventually - it got all cleaned up and cleaned out and during that process, i realized that i had rented out two rooms and the tenants had not pay their rent yet. this was, in a way, a great discovery, because it dawned on me that i could pay off my house by simply keeping these two room rented out. Part of the loft was a theater complex, and another part was a huge apartment bought by a couple from the city. all very confusing... - i need to get going...

This piece is part of an art exhibition. it is created with spools of various colored threads. only from a distance does the piece reveal the image of Mr. Spock. There is a little glass ball mounted on a black stick in front of the image. if one looks through it, the image rotates 180 degrees. Most likely a computer can generate the pattern for the spools, and most likely it's 'just' an optical illusions. in other words, one could be very critical of 'the quality' of this art, but it makes me smile and for a while all there was was the art piece and the viewer, in this case, me.