to arrive. to arrive at my life. that sounds strange but recently that is pretty much what i'm trying to do.  the number of thoughts comprising 'if only' or ' if this, then that' is endless. for example, 'if i only had more money', or 'if I only had a job', or 'if I would travel more', or ' if i only had a house on the coast'. there are also all of these 'if's' from the past, such as 'if i had only done this or that' then i would now be in a better place or situation, or simply happier, or happy, or less regretful, sad or frustrated. not to mention the 'if's' reaching out into the future, which tell me that when i will have accomplished or succeeded in various different areas, then i will be happy, less sad etc. . - I recall that i used to say 'if i don't slow down and get out of this high speed craziness in the city, time will pass too swiftly without me truly having lived my life'. it seemed that this 'sentence' proved to be more accurate than i could have ever imagined at that time. 

I try to arrive at my life. the house, the fields, the flowers, the trees, the birds, the clouds, the quietness, the creek, the wind - they all help to erase the 'if's' in my life, they all help me to arrive a day at a time.