how is it possible that such a glorious sky can trick you into the false illusion of a warm and tender day? Spring has officially arrived and winter is not loosening it's cold grip. quite the opposite. the frost is lingering all day. the wind gusts make you shiver. Writing my pages early this morning was a tough call.  i fought with the alarm clock, arguing for 10 minutes at a time, until i realized that my mind had already started the race and innocent sleep would not be possible anymore. i got up and sat down at my little table, opened my red journal and started writing. off the pen went and words were appearing on the page and i suddenly remembered a dream. i was the house-keeper of a rich businessman. he was always surrounded by friends, colleagues and acquaintances. i was the silent, ignored servant. spring came and i suggested some flowers for the front porch and alongside the pool. he approved of my suggestions, a bit condescendingly though - but he did. his friends were laughing at me. he got up and left. then i stood up, walked over to two women standing casually around in the garden close to the entrance. with a very clear and loud voice i started talking to them. i heard myself saying strange things such as> do you really think that red lipstick proves anything?< > your fake face is not needed anymore<.

while I kept on talking to them, I 'threw' them out of the house. all of them. I walked back inside, knowing that my voice would never be ignored again. never again. and that the businessman and I would be a team from now on. i felt great.

can we really believe in the miracle of change?  in the power of our own voices? in the knowledge of our unconsciousness? - are dreams  more then just the foam of waves, crashing on the shore?