Monday, May 25, 2009

There are some mornings when i don't know where i am. not in the sense of location, but in the sense of my emotional state. i feel lost, irritated and nervous. I try to make myself understood, but every attempt just turns me upside down and the frustration grows. I need space within myself. space to be able to look at my eeriness. to realize the dimension of it. inner space that allows me to breathe. otherwise, i get lost in a maze of irritation. I'm searching for a helping hand, for comfort and understanding, but the vastness is immense. words are starting battles and they come flying right back at me, sharp and poisoned. The morning hours disappear. they run through time with no revelation and a path of guilt and anger is set for the day. I wish i would know the place of origin, but no tag is attached to the rise of the morning hours. I feel this immense urge to run as fast as I can, but i don't see a road a sign. So I sit still and wait and wait and wait... 

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